Here’s what I think written by Bro Diallo (www.diallokenyatta.com)
Here’s what I think: written by Bro Diallo (www.diallokenyatta.com)
One, African people ain’t never been about that nuclear family bullshit of “Daddy-Mommy-Children,” we always rolled with the extended family in this nation, and we always picked up the slack where other family members fell off.
I was raised by my Mother, Grandmother, Great Aunt, Older Sister, Half Brother, Uncles, Neighbors, Ex-cons, Peers, and Others.
When our ancestors were on the plantation and mothers, fathers, and children would be sold off by the White Savages, we’d fill them gaps and take on the children that were made fatherless, motherless, or familyless. We knew we was all Blood, and all we had was each other.
After the plantation, our families remained extended, multi-generational, and highly flexible. Folks was sending babies Up North, or Down South to be tended to by Grands, Uncles, Aunties, Older Sibling and Cousins, or even family friends. Some times we was escaping the KKK, or we was run off by “de Law,” or we were just seeking opportunity, but it didn’t matter, we knew we have family where we was leaving and where we was going.
It was this Kinship Value System, this Extended Family System that was the root of major movements like the UNIA, the Civil Rights Movement, and the Black Liberation Struggles; the kinship we was raised with fed the unity and connection we needed to face armed Racist and even the National Guard and US military.
We lost all that with Integration and Assimilation with White People in the late 60s. We tried doing that Leave it to Beaver bullshit, we though we’d all get the Cosby Show set up if we just went passively along with the White program.
Black men had always tried to dominate the Black woman like the White man dominates White women…and the world; but that shit went into overdrive when we were told that we were finally equal to the White man in the 60s. Black women started trying to hold the Black man to the same damn economic and educational standards that White men had, as if we had the same opportunity and standing in this Racist System. Shit got all fucked up because we got really confused.
Prior to Integration Black men were held to account by the community, being shamed or excluded by the community was a fate worse that death form many, and it often gave our marriages and family relationships more stability than White families prior to Integration, now we can’t keep our shit together on the most basic levels. Don’t try to blame lack of money and education, because we didn’t have either back in the era when our families were much more intact and stable. It’s culture that’s the problem. Now instead of internal accountability Sisters have to call the Family Court, Social Workers, and the Police on Brothers to get them clowns together, when fathers, cousins, and uncles with a few shotguns and baseball bats would do the trick more effectively.
Now we got crack-pot TV Gurus trying to fix our shit when we really need a Revolution, a Cultural Revolution.
Our solutions have always rested in our culture.
You Sisters who share a man, or carry the children of the same man need to recognize and formalize the bonds between each other instead of fighting. Pool your resources and build together, it don’t matter if you still sleeping with the clown or not.
My father had children with my mother and at least 4 other women. I had to wait until I was a teen to form relationships with my “half” brothers and sisters! Why the hell didn’t our mothers cooperate, pool their resources, and hold my father to some standards. You can share a bed, a penis, and children, but not housing, money, childcare, food, and cultivation duties?!?! I know the power the body, affections, and intimacy of one woman can have on we men, just imagine the power of 3 or 4 or more women can have, working together. We grown, so we can be real. By the time your are willingly or unwillingly sharing a man, you’ve already crossed a particular threshold, so once babies enter the picture, it’s time to get real fucking practical and strategic with your moves, and how you deal.
Brothers, the first thing we should be inquiring about after we give our Homies a pound is “how are your children and woman/women?” We need to reestablish our internal accountability protocols. Don’t let your Brother bash his “baby momma”
in your presence, or disrespect women in general. If you know your Homie ain’t providing support for his children but he got the latest Jordans, iphone, and rims on his car, CALL HIM ON HIS BULLSHIT, or stop fronting like you are his friend. Don’t club or kick-it with dudes who ain’t men, who ain’t tending to their shit. When they roll up on you say “yo, lets got check in on our children,” or “lets gather our children together and do something with them.” That dude will get with the program or get the fuck away from you, either way you’ve fulfilled your obligation to the larger community in that area.
Within our Culture we still have solutions to this epidemic of family dysfunction, and there are no solutions for us in this White System of “pay to lay,” child support nonsense.
There is so much more I could say, I’ll have to find a better way to lay it all out. Also Dr. Obari Cartman is going to be dropping a text for the brothers with honest insights and viable solutions, so be on the look out for that. All Revolutions emerged from the homes of the people, from the family structure, we gotta fix the family, and remember that we are all The Family, all of us together. My personal family is just one unit of the whole, one cell in the body, but I we need the rest of yall to be whole.
Look to African Culture for Solutions:
#KhemeticLove not Romantic Love.